RADHIKA JINDAL

What does it mean to be a Parent?

Suppose your child is getting ready for school and he is a little late. He might miss the school bus because he must finish his breakfast too. Now the question is -   What should be your reaction as a parent at that time?

You have two options –

·      One scolds him for being late and tells him to take his sandwich or whatever he is eating in his hand and eat in the bus and just run to catch the bus.

·      Secondly, you tell him not to worry as an alternate arrangement can be made to drop him off at school. So, he can take his time and have his breakfast.

The first style creates – fear and negativity.

The second style creates – love and positivity.

Your parenting style will have a major impact on your child’s personality, thought process, and the way he will tackle problems when he grows up.

What is parenting?

Parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the toughest thing in the world to do. Parenting is neither a cakewalk nor just a robotic attention to the needs of a child. It is to provide basic needs for their physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development right from infancy to adulthood. It is the act and attitude of unconditional love.

What does it require to be a good parent?

There are no hard and fast rules to be a good parent. That is what makes parenting so difficult. There is a beginning but no end to this. You need to be an involved parent. Parenting is different for different individuals and different situations. Not every parenting style is in the child’s best interest. Children need:

·      Your affection and appreciation

·      To be accepted the way they are

·      A stable and consistent environment

·      Your permission to make choices and explore independence

·      To be led by an example

·      Your support to experience failures

·      Space to develop their own interests

·      Love, validation, and emotional security

·      Your encouragement and respect to feel important

As a parent, you try to give your best to your child but don’t forget that your child has his own temperament, his own personality, a different way of thinking which is quite different from yours.

As a parent, we think that children are everything for us. This is where we go wrong!! They are a part of our life. Nurture them and protect them when necessary. We all want our children to be successful and the best among their peers. Never ever try to make them the best product available on this earth. Every step that you take as a parent should be made with a goal in mind to make your child responsible and an independent person who can get on well with his life.

It’s impossible for a parent to be a perfect parent. But if you think that being a perfect parent is attainable, you need to be self-critical and adjust to the changing needs of a child as he grows and develops. Today’s children are the most impressionable and should learn and cultivate proper habits and manners before it’s too late to shape their character.

Always remember that you are not raising a kid; you are raising an adult who has to face the challenging situations in this world.

Read another guest post by Seema Dhall: How Parents Can Encourage Their Kids to Speak Up

This post is written for the blogchatter Half Marathon.

This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’
hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla.  

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 "New Parents"?

How Parents Can Encourage Their Kids to Speak Up

From the moment kids start speaking, we also teach them how to be quiet. Kids are told to use quiet voices just about everywhere they go (stores, classes, and waiting rooms, to name a few). When children also learn how to express themselves with confidence and assert their needs and ideas, they experience increased self-esteem, positive peer relationships, and better school performance. The ability to speak up helps kids manage their emotions, and conflicts in a healthy way.

Why is it important for your child to speak?

You are out for a walk in a park. Your neighbor comes and asks the child, “Why did you miss the school today?  The child is a little hesitant to answer. Seeing this, without wasting a moment, you answer for him. Have you ever thought about what damage this cost? Whenever you speak up for him you make him meek and dependent.

Now I have a question for such parents – Why don’t you allow your child to speak for himself?

Q. Do you think you are doing any good for your child?

Q. Do you know by not allowing the child to use his voice you are hurting his self-esteem?

If you don’t step in, you give your child a chance to think about what to say and how to say it. If you answer for your child that is disrespecting your child and he will feel you don’t believe in him. A child has a right to express his thoughts and opinions. He is capable enough to answer such questions.

We all know today’s child is tomorrow’s leader. If you really want him to contribute to society when he grows up, allow him to learn how to properly communicate with other people.

Suppose someone asks him his name and the child doesn’t respond, a wise parent would say, “Come on dear, he is asking you a question. Please do reply.” A wise parent will never reply to the child because he understands that as parents it is our job to teach our children how to engage with others. By not giving them a chance to speak you are limiting your child’s mental growth and lowering his self-confidence.

Let your child answer and decide simple things for himself, like:

• ·      Ordering food for himself at a restaurant
• ·      In a hotel he wants to go to the washroom, let him ask the waiter and find one for himself
• ·      He was not able to do the homework yesterday for some reason. He should have the courage to go and tell the teacher
• ·      Saying “No” for certain things

You are not supposed to speak for your child all the time. Sometimes he might be too shy or nervous or if you want to protect your child, you may have to reply for your child. Fine but don’t allow this to happen frequently. Let them speak up. By communicating with others, they will be prepared for the times when you won’t be by their side.

Take out time each day to have thoughtful conversations with your child. It can be at the dinner table or when you are doing something in the kitchen – ask him his opinion. Show some curiosity about his thoughts and opinions, and encourage him by saying – “Really amazing or very interesting.” Or “I am highly impressed. Tell me something more about it.”

Always keep in mind that as a parent your job is to prepare your child to live without you in the future. Show your faith in his abilities and encourage him to come out of his comfort zone. Let him build his independence and be capable of living up to his full potential.

Let’s not shush them, let’s teach them to use their voice effectively.

Points to remember:

• §  Understand the reason behind the shyness of your child
• §  Developing the ability to speak up takes time and practice
• §  Encourage the child to speak
• §  Teach them the benefits of self-advocacy
• §  Encourage your child to add to a conversation
• §  Give them the right words and confidence to speak

 

 

Book: Walking with your child

Publisher: Notion press

Author: Seema Dhall

Genre: Non Fiction (Self-Help)

Pages: 209

Rating: 4.5*

Reading Time for the blog: 3 minutes

Buy here:

Paperback 

Kindle edition

 

Why Did I Choose This Book?

 

Every parent desire to see their kids grow smart and confident. The picture on the book cover captivated my attention where parents are walking with their kids through all the paths.

 

About The Book:

The book is divided into many small chapters based on a few short stories and the author's personal experience. The book is covering a lot of topics from which a few of my favorite are:

1.   Types of parenting on page no. 23

2.   How and why to discipline your child on page no. 95

3.   How to handle the struggles of life? On page no. 147

4.   What is the need to understand yourself as a parent etc. on page no. 201

Each chapter has its significance which is advisable to all the parents.

 

About the Author: Seema Dhall

 

The author is a homemaker and has teaching experience of sixteen years. She has written her first book based on her both personal and professional experience.

 

She has put in her best efforts in writing this book. The author herself understands how the role of parenting in an individual’s growth plays a crucial role in their life. So, in the same way she wants to help all the parents in their parenthood journey of life.

 

How Is This Book Helpful?

 

The book throws light on how to raise a smart and confident kid. We as parents cannot always be there for them. But we can give them the best guidance to walk confidently on the journey of their life. This book works as a guiding path for the parents on “how to walk with your kid at every phase of their life”.

 

Who the Book Is For?

For all the parents and teachers who want to play the best role in their kid’s life. Undoubtedly, those parents want to be remembered in their kid’s thoughts once they’re grown up. They’ll appreciate all the efforts that parents put into while raising them .

 

What were my Emotions while I was Going Through This Book?

Being a new and first-time parent, I am always conscious of doing the best for my kid. Sometimes, parenting makes me feel scared about whether I’ll be able to do justice to my parenting or not. But this book has helped in getting clarification about the parenting journey. It’s not done in a night but it takes so many years to get the best results.

Every single word gave me goosebumps and hope in raising a smart kid.

Learnings From The Book:

• How to raise a sensitive kid
• How parenting is the biggest concern nowadays
•  Parenting is not one night job, it takes many years
•   Have a happy-lucky-go attitude
• How to be with kids at every stage of their life.

 

We as parents need to put  our child’s desires first before our own selfish needs.

So, What’re You Waiting For?

I appreciate the author’s efforts towards this book for new parents like me who need advice at every step. She has conveyed her message clearly to all the parents via this book. The Parenting journey is a long process. So, parents, make sure that you’re putting in the best efforts.

 

This is one of the best books I’ve read in 2020. I feel blessed to fulfill my mind with so much knowledge about parenting. I feel that the author has put in her heart to the fullest in the book to make us aware of the unknown facts of parenting. With the year ending and with a great zeal for welcoming the new year, I’m ready to challenge myself a little more in the journey of parenting?

 Are you ready?

 If not, then

 Click on the link to order the book now. Don’t forget to make your parenting smarter with the help of this book.

Happy Parenting!

Let's discuss what "Positive Parenting" means to you?

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Book: MAKING GREAT LEADERS HAPPEN

Publisher: Notion press

Author: KALYANKUMAR S. HATTI

Genre: Non Fiction (Self-Help)

Pages: 66 plus few blank pages for practicing exercises

Rating: 4*

Reading Time for the blog: 3 minutes

Buy here:

Paperback 

Kindle edition

Why did I choose this book?

Every day is a new challenge for the parents on how to treat their kids. It is every parent's dream to see their kid have leadership qualities. So, the subtitle of the book caught my attention i.e. “Shaping Leaders of Tomorrow”.

About the author: Kalyankumar S. Hatti

The author is a master coach for business transformation. He is passionate about learning and transforming lives.  He strongly believes that everyone needs a teacher, a mentor, and a guide who can help one to achieve the success that someone is looking for in their life. He has written three books in total as of now. The author confidently welcomes everyone in the world of “Metamorphosis” which means the process of transformation into a new different world.

About the book:

This is such a short book conveying a great message hidden behind. The author’s message is crystal clear on "how to see the leader in your child". The best way to make them prepare is to start from now onwards. If they’re given the right guidance, they can become the best leader tomorrow.

“Leaders are not born, but leaders are made.” This book exactly throws the light on the same question: how can we shape leaders of tomorrow? One can cultivate leadership by following the right attributes.

The author has described 26 letters corresponding to 26 attributes which are explained in a simple and easy language. The book is for all school-going parents on how they can make their kids practice these exercises every day.

Everything takes time. So, kids also need time to polish themselves to shape themselves as leaders of tomorrow.

If you’re a parent or a teacher, it’s crucial to spend some quality time with your children to perform the given exercises. 

The author has also highlighted how one kid can maintain a ‘Journal Diary’. The main focus is on three things:-

1. Thankfulness

2. Forgiveness

3. Celebration

• The affirmations for being thankful can be written as “I’m thankful for the wonderful day”

• I’ll forgive my friends today for hurting me

• I’ve finished this task. Yay! What a great achievement.

How is this book helpful?

• A quick push towards how to shape your kids to become a leader tomorrow

• Practical exercise at the end of each chapter.

• Easy to understand and to apply 

• Don’t skip 4 chapters based on alphabets like ‘K’, ‘L’, ‘M’, and ‘W’- the four leadership styles.

Why do I recommend this book?

The workbook exercise gives clarity on how to start preparing to develop leadership quality.

Who is the book for?

For all the new mothers and the parents of school-going kids. The book is for all those highly ambitious parents who're:-

• Thinking to build up leadership qualities in their kids 

• Looking for some advice on from ‘where to start’ 

• Looking for ‘what actions to take each day’. 

• Bonus points for Parents also. They can perform the same exercise along with their kids to keep the memento high.

The book can be read within 2 hours but if you want to be benefitted then performing exercises every day is a must. Spending only 15 minutes can sharpen your kid’s skills.

At the end of the book, the author has given a few blank pages to maintain the record. There are many lessons to be learned for the parents/teachers too like patience, tolerance which we easily ignore sometimes. So, we can also remind our subconscious minds to follow the same for the betterment of our kids.

My favorite chapter from the book is “humility” on page no. 25 from the book. I also wish to see my princess growing as a “kind human being”.

Learnings from the book:

• Humility makes a difference

• A leader without a team is not a leader

• Experience the magician hidden in your child

The best a parent should do now is to give a diary to your child and open up with the questions. Once they achieve their small goals. Now, it’s time to celebrate your child's achievement. Let’s make it an encouraging moment for him/her. So, he/she can cherish it for their lifetime.

Happy Parenting!

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Let's discuss what "Leadership" is to you? How’re you going to develop leadership qualities in your child?

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